I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
