I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
