"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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