420 ftw
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
