just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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