she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize