it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
A bitchslap is in order.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
