just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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