I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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