I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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