I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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