It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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