Where are you?
In a non slutty way
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
