my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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