im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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