ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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