Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't put those talents on a resume
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
