so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
