Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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