I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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