YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
