We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
How external is "for external use only"?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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