she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
