She is in my trunk
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
PANTIES FOUND
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