I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
