I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize