i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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