yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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