youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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