is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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