this will be a night to untag.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
