..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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