He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
