Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
