Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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