just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize