Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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