Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
