return my video game
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
