I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
