then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
