I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
