How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
