When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i came on her dog
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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