No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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