Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
