i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
