call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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