So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
