He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
