so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
