when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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