I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
sarcasm needs its own font
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize