i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
