Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
