need another drink. this is the easiest way
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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