it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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