is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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