what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
