i may or may not be watching the land before time
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
