after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
