He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
