tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
