This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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