Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
