Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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