we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
