I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
