it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
