Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
