I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The adults are the big ones right?
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