idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
