i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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