Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
