In the future we'll all be gay
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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