ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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