Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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