Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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