Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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