the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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