Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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